Surfing story

It's a beautiful day. You park your car, unload your board, and walk out to the local break. The beach is empty. The sun is shining, and the waves glitter in the daylight. The blue of the sea overwhelms you. [[Paddle out.]] [[Stay on the beach and stretch.]]

You wade out into the cerulean surf and throw your board onto the water. You splash water over the board and over your head. You close your eyes. [[Pray to the sea.]] [[Hoist yourself onto the board and head towards the break.]]

You lay the board down tenderly in the sand. Wax up - you don't want to get sand in your wax. The sun is beating down. You stretch your arms, your shoulders. You bend down and stretch your back. You look again towards the waves. [[Stretch arms again.]] [[Paddle out.]]

You lean back, stretching your back. You look around the beach, and embrace the silence. Feeling the wind. You stretch first your right arm, hard. Then your left. You lean out to the left, stretching every muscle. Then to the right. [[You notice something in the sand.]] [[Paddle out.]]

As you stretch, you see something sticking out of the sand. There's an object a few feet away from you, shining in the sun. [[Inspect the object.]] [[Paddle out.]]

You reach down in the warm sand and scoop out the object with your hands. You hold it up in the sunlight. You brush the sand off the object and you can see it's an old discarded watch. As you look closer, you see the watch glinting yellow in the sunlight. It's made of gold! [[Bring the watch back to the car.]] [[Throw it away and paddle out.]] [[Put it on and paddle out.]]

You grab your board and start walking back to the car. What a lucky day! You look at the watch in your hand as you cross the street to where you're parked. [[Look at the time on the watch.]] [[Put the watch in your pocket.]] [[Throw the watch into the street, yelling, "begone, monument to capitalism!"]]

You wade into the surf and look into the water. The sea is the true treasure. You breathe in deeply and shade your eyes as you look out towards the break. [[Paddle out towards the break.]]

With the watch snugly embracing your wrist you feel totally empowered. You burst out into the surf without a thought for the weather or the time of day. The watch has got you covered. You speed out to the lineup and see a wave coming. [[Think carefully about your actions.]] [[Smash that wave.]]

You pray to the sea gods, asking them for a good surf. You ask them for good waves. You ask them for safety. [[Hoist yourself onto the board and head towards the break.]]

You quickly find the channel and start paddling out towards the break. You notice the reef flowing by underneath you. Teeming with life. You navigate through the reefs trying to avoid the coral heads poking out. It is low tide. You reach the Outside and see a handful of other surfers. [[Wait for a wave.]] [[Paddle in.]] [[Talk to the surfers.]]

You look closely at the watch. The hands have stopped moving. Maybe you can find a clue about the watch's origins in the details of its golden face. [[Look closer.]] [[Put the watch in your pocket.]]

You put the watch into your pocket. The weight of the gold is light, but the knowledge of its value weighs comfortably on you. You reach your car. [[Get in your car and drive to the pawn shop.]] [[Get in your car and drive home.]]

You throw the watch into the street, feeling violated by the forces of capitalism that had gripped you moments before. You step onto the sidewalk and watch as a Subaru Outback rolls carelessly over the watch, crushing it into a dust of yellow and glass. You smile up to the sun, thanking the universe for reminding you that you are not an agent of the capitalist machine. As you get in the driver's seat, you smile and feel a deep comfort. [[Play Red Army Choir tape.]] [[Play surf playlist tape.]]

You settle into the driver's seat, and place the golden watch on the dash. It dazzles you as it reflects the sunlight. You take the familiar route home, and when you get there, you unpack your board and towel. You take the watch in last. You bring it into your room and wipe it down with a microfiber cloth. [[Look closely at the face of the watch.]] [[Cherish it forever.]]

You lean back in the driver's seat as the working class voices wash over you. You breathe in deeply, relishing in your freedom and your connection to your fellow man. You put the key in the ignition, totally confident in your vision of a world of equality and human understanding. No greed, no money, no betrayal. All of humanity, hand in hand, marching toward the future. As "Slavery and Suffering" plays on the machine, you hit the ignition and turn into the street. You decide to take the long way home, contemplating your experience of the day. Someday, a Utopia will arise. Someday, peace will be achieved. Until then, you shall not be subverted. END.

You put on your surf playlist and hit the ignition. The weight of your board on top of the car seems to slow your momentum in every way. Every turn on the route home feels like an eternity. Your groove has been totally wrecked by this decision. Out there, on the glistening horizon, are waves. Waves that you should be riding, that you should be CAPITALIZING on. You really missed out. You head home, unpack your board and towel, and head inside. You crack a beer, sit on the couch, and turn on the TV. Outside, the unspoiled nature of the endless sea screams at you, unheeded. You feel you've missed an opportunity. END.

You wait pensively at the lineup. The day is quiet. Warm clouds sail overhead, and you close your eyes in appreciation of the experience of the day. You feel the sea surge beneath you. On the horizon, peaks converge, and you take a quick breath as you see the wave approaching. [[Treat the wave with respect.]] [[Smash that wave.]]

As you float among the surfers in the Outside, you realize the true reason you came out was to feel a deeper connection to Nature. You feel the waves swell beneath you. You look down beneath your feet at the clear blue waters and see life, flourishing. You look up into the sky. The cirrus clouds stretch from the mountains out to the horizon, reaching, as if longing for a sweet release from the earth. You feel invigorated. *THIS* is why you came out today. You decide to paddle in. Reaching the beach, you reflect on the warmth of the sun, the sting of the salt in your eyes. The bowelthreatening power of nature. You feel you might have missed something... but at the same time, you feel strong and whole. You go home and eat a LaraBar and watch The Office, and you feel pretty good about the whole thing. END.

You look out across the lineup and see a group of surfers laughing amicably. You paddle toward them. You introduce yourself. We haven't seen you around here, they say. I have a pretty busy work schedule, you say. Well, it's nice to meet you, they say. Things have been weird at this break since ... what happened, says one of them. [[Ask, What happened?]] [[Wait for a wave.]]

Looking closely you see that the hour hand is on 3, and the minute hand is on 19. The date says 5 21. At least four months have passed. You look even closer, trying to find any details that might let you understand the history of this artifact that has landed in your hands. [[You hear a whooshing from the outside world.]]

You look up to see the 9 rushing towards you. Six tons of government funded public transit, unslowable, unimpeachable. The driver wears an expression of intent regret. You step back in the wrong direction. The bus plows you into smithereens. The watch flies into the air and lands in the grass, next to your car. The mystery is unsolved. END.

As you hold the watch in your hands, you look closely at its face and start to notice minute details. The hour hand is on 3, and the minute hand is on 19. The date says 5 21. At least four months have passed. The watch has stopped, but surely, you think, it could work again. Something tells you the watch is worth more than it seems. [[Get in your car and drive to the pawn shop.]] [[Cherish it forever.]]

You put the watch on the windowsill where it glints in the sunlight. The fortuitousness of your meeting with this object does not elude you. You sit and look at it, thinking of all the paths you could have taken today. But this path led you to this joyful moment, bathed in the golden light from this tiny object. You stop and consider the Japanese idea of wabisabi. Of beauty in asymmetry, in the everyday. You look at the object and feel true love. You feel filled with that golden light, and you feel happy. You lay on your bed and close your eyes. What a beautiful meeting. You will cherish it forever. END.

You settle into the driver's seat and hoist the watch in your hand. There is something significant about this item, you think. You start the ignition, and the radio plays. It's Huey Lewis And The News. YES! You screech. You drive to the pawn shop. [[Go in.]]

You sit silently on the board. The sun sings overhead as you look out toward the horizon. Beautiful bluegreen light meets you. You see a crest far away, then another. A wave is coming. [[Try to catch the wave.]]

The wave rears up behind you as you paddle. Faster and faster, you turn, looking to both sides, seeing it coming, matching its speed. As the face rears up behind you and you feel it taking you, you make a quick decision. [[Bail.]] [[Try to stand.]]`

You pull sideways and let the wave tumble you in its sweet embrace. The deep blue takes you down and you feel like a rag doll. The wave passes over you and you come up for a breath. AH! The sweet clarity of day finds you again. You respect the raw power and violence of the sea. You decide to call it a day and paddle in. The fresh air was all you needed. You paddle back in, retreat to your car, and head home. The salt air has done you some good. No need for adrenaline on this day. Respect for nature has kept you alive this long, and it shall be your ruling ideology henceforth. END.

The wave takes you- the familiar feeling, the wind *whooshing* in your ears. You plant your hands and pop up. [[BUT!]]

Alas! Your wax has melted! Your diversion on the beach left your wax too long in the sun. As you throw your whole weight into your popup, your feet hit the slippery wax, and you careen forward. Just as you see a reef head stand up before you. You shout as you fly toward the reef head. You close your eyes and await death's sweet embrace. Maybe it won't be that bad? END.

Oh, they say. One of our friends died out here. Super weird, because it was a small day, and they were a really good swimmer. But things have seemed weird a this break ever since, they say. Oh, you say. I'm sorry about your friend, you say. It's ok. I hope I see you guys out here more often. Yeah, likewise. You smile, and look out toward the horizon. Sweet blue swells lift up suggestively at the edge of perception. [[Wait for a wave.]] [[Paddle back to the beach and think about what they said.]]

You decide the day is too somber for surfing. The knowledge of a death at this break has left you totally spooked. You paddle in casually and feel the warmth of the sun on your back. But your heart is chilled. You walk up onto the beach and look around. You see something glinting in the sand. [[Go home.]] [[Inspect the object.]]

You feel bad about what the surfers told you. The bad juju of the story follows you home. You sit in your car and ride slowly home, feeling pretty sour. When you get in, you don't know if you like surfing anymore. You sit at the table and crack a beer, and you look out the window. Maybe there's something else out there for me, you think. This day was wasted, anyway. END.

You realize the watch has imbued you with some sort of unholy pride. It makes you feel nasty. You're halfway out to the break, and you stop. You look down at the watch. Its sheen is dazzling. [[Throw it into the surf.]] [[Keep it on and paddle out.]]

Hubris pours out of your eyes. You fly forth, ready to tear that wave *up*. As you feel your board lean forward in the wave's grasp, you glimpse the faraway shore. What are those people doing there? you wonder. What is happening all over the world? you wonder. The wave lifts you. How did I get here? The wave is steep, and it smashes you down into the depths. Blackness enfolds you and you crunch against solid ground. You have not treated the sea with respect. Fie on you, reckless surfer. END.

You bow your head in respect to the oncoming wave. As you begin to paddle, you acknowledge its absolute power over you. The ocean is no plaything- you are at its mercy in every moment, and you know this. The wave knows you know this. It lifts you up in sweet exultation. [[Pop up.]] [[Bail.]]

You stand. You look out and you see the island stretching before you. The wave is rushing you onward. You glide along it, rising first to the lip, then down to the trough, generating drive in the tail. The wave is your friend. You see the wave rears up before you as you turn, standing tall, starting to peel... [[Get barrelled.]] [[Avoid the barrel.]]

You tuck in, ready for absolution. You drop the back knee and grab the rail. The wave peels over you and you draw a quick breath. You are in the room. The blue room. Time stands still. You can see to other worlds. Voices from a thousand unheard languages ring in your ears, and your eyes water at the sheer beauty. [[Exit the barrel.]] [[Embrace the barrel eternally.]]

You pull back, not ready for the commitment of the barrel. You know your limits. You ride down the wave, letting the whitewash push you until it throws the board out from under you. You are tossed around for a few seconds, cherishing the embrace of the sea. You surface with a deep breath and smile up to the sun. You've got what you needed from the sea this day. You give thanks, and paddle in. Time to go home. END.

Whooping, you exit the barrel in a shot of whitewater, and you look up into the sky. Everything is changed. No longer can you be called by any name. You are part of the earth now. Wiping tears from your eyes, you paddle back to the Outside. Time to do it all again. END.

You close your eyes as tears wet your cheeks. This universal knowledge is too much. How can you go back to the mortal world now? The only option is to embrace the void. Relinquish yourself to the barrel. You lean toward the wave and let it take you, first by the head, then the body, fully submersing you, throwing you over the falls. You laugh gleefully as you plunge into the depths. Being outside the barrel is no longer an option. You are the barrel now. A cold wind blows over the sea and the sky turns dark. Night has fallen. END.

Gasping for air, you tear the watch from your wrist. Horrid object! Totem of despair! You hold it in your hand for one last moment, its evil burning your skin! You screech and throw it into the sea, to be lost forever into Poseidon's black depths. The waves pulse past you. You breathe a deep sigh of relief, and keep paddling out. You finally reach the Outside, and see some other surfers. [[Wait for a wave.]] [[Talk to the surfers.]] [[Paddle in.]]

You shrug off the feeling and paddle out to the Outside. You're ready for some action! You grin at the horizon as the weighty heft of the watch gives you courage. You badass! You regular monster! Suddenly you see a wave coming right to you. [[Smash that wave.]]

You enter the pawn shop. The atmosphere is musty. Dusted items from a thousand lifetimes stare down at you from the walls. An old man with a shotgun peers over a glass counter at you. What do you need, sonny? he asks. [["I have something I need valued."]] [["Nothing, sorry, wrong store."]]

I have something I need valued, you say. Give it here, sonny. You pass the watch hesitantly to the old man. In the moment before it leaves your hand, it glints in the sunlight. Then, all at once, it is gone. The pawnkeeper has it now. He turns, and stares down at it in his palm. [["Is it worth anything?"]] [["Can I trade it for anything?"]] [["Do you know anything about this?"]]

Nothing, sorry, wrong store, you say. The old man peers at you suspiciously. Breathing fast, you run back to the car. You could not possibly part with this precious item. You drive home and run into your room. You look at the watch. [[Cherish it forever.]]

Is it worth anything, you ask. The shopkeeper is quiet for a long time. His voice is strange. I can give you a hundred for it, he croaks. [["That's fine, thank you."]] [["Two hundred."]] [["Do you know anything about this?"]]

Can I trade it for anything? you ask. The man takes a moment to respond. Yes, yes, anything in the shop. You look around, inspecting the wares. There is a stuffed bird, a rare-looking bird. There is a shotgun mounted on the wall. There is a samurai sword in the display case. [[Rare bird.]] [[Shotgun.]] [[Samurai sword.]] [["Is it worth anything?"]] [["Do you know anything about this?"]]

Do you know anything about this, you ask. The pawnkeeper takes the watch from your hands. Immediately his eyes fill with tears, and he begins to wail. [["What's wrong?]] [[Run out of the shop.]]

That's fine, thank you, you reply. What a great find! A hundred big ones! A fat Benjy! The old man slowly leans into the cash register and withdraws a hundred dollar bill. Here you go, he says. His demeanor is weird. Thanks, you say. You strut out to your car, a rich person. Yeehaw! What a fortuitous encounter! END.

Two hundred, you counter. The man stiffens. No! he croaks. You stand up tall. He turns and sees you. Fine, fine, whatever you want. You can have whatever you want. He leans toward the cash register. [[Take the two hundred.]] [["Can I trade it for anything?"]]

The old man leans reluctantly into the register and pulls out two crisp hundred dollar bills. A single tear runs down his face as he hands them to you. You point in his face and laugh. You did nothing to earn this currency. Your evil laugh continues as you do a jig out the door. Somehow you feel you've hurt this man, and you love it. You settle into your car and you drive home, head out the driver-side window, shrieking like a banshee, running everyone off the road. END.

What about that stuffed bird, you ask. He flinches. Oh that, he says. That's a Montagu's harrier. Pretty piece that one. Yes, I'll take that. Done, he says. He smiles at you as he hands you the stuffed bird. Thank you, sonny, thank you. You can't understand... what this means. You accept the bird and walk back to your car. It will make a pretty companion in your bedchamber, indeed. END.

What about that shotgun? The old man flinches. The shotgun? he asks. I'm not sure... Give me back the watch, you say. OK! he shouts. You can have the shotgun. He lifts the shotgun tenderly off the wall and looks gingerly at it. Bolt action. Slightly rusted. He hands it to you. [[Shoot the pawnkeeper.]] [[Say thanks.]]

Give me that samurai sword from the case, you say. He looks particularly chagrined, but he unlocks the case, and tenderly removes the sword. He holds it to the light and examines its arc. A beautiful blade, he says. Yes, you breathe. He hands it to you, hilt first. You take it. [[Slay the pawnkeeper.]] [[Bow to the pawnkeeper.]] [[Call the pawnkeeper a nerd.]]

You heft the shotgun in your hands. It fills you with vigor. You feel *you* are made of gold. You point the shotgun at the pawnkeeper and pull the trigger. It clicks. He chuckles. Thanks for the thought, sonny, but we have no ammo here. You'd better go to Walmart for that. You smile and take the gun out to the car. Your mind is filled with a thousand evil ideas for that gun as you drive off into the evening sun. What an end to this day. END.

Thank you, you say. You begin to turn away, but look back over your shoulder. Do you have any ammo? you ask. No, he says, but you can check at Walmart. I'm sure they've got some. You smile. Alright, you say, that sounds fine. Thanks again. You head back to your car, feeling extremely empowered. How you can change the world with this device! Hopefully the roof of your mouth will not fall victim to its kiss! END.

You hold the sword in your hand and you feel the fury of a thousand year history burning in you. You can't stop yourself. You shriek and slice the pawnkeeper across the throat with the blade. His face is surprised as his blood sprays you and the surrounding displays. You grin and drink the blood between your teeth. This is truly your destiny. There can be no repercussions for this. END.

Holding the blade in your hand, you feel the weight of thousands of years of tradition and bloodshed press down on you. Thank you, you say. But you feel it isn't enough. You hold the blade at your side and bow deeply to the man. He seems uncomfortable. With a tear in your eye, you leave the shop. From this day, you are a samurai. A samurai of honor. END.

Holding the sword in your hand, you think- What a big nerd! You point the sword at the man and shout, you're a big nerd! He bursts into tears. His sadness fuels your anger and your joy. You stick your tongue out and chant NERD, NERD, NERD as you back out of the shop. You walk to your car feeling empowered and secure. Maybe someone will buy this thing on Craigslist, you think. You drive home, feeling pretty OK, and thinking about what show you're going to watch on TV tonight. END.

What's wrong? you ask. The pawnkeep collects himself and says, this was my son's watch. I gave it to him for his birthday ten years ago. He wore it every day, until his death, four months ago. He died surfing. It was a freak accident. He was surfing at his favorite spot, and he slipped and hit his head on a reef. It could have happened to anybody. But I never would have dreamed it would happen to my son. The man breaks into sobs. When his body was found, the watch was gone. But here it is! You have brought it to me. I owe you my life... I owe you everything. How can I repay you? [["That is totally not necessary."]] [["Give me a million dollars."]]

This raw expression of human emotion bothers you so much that you flee the shop. You run to the car and vow never to see human emotion again. You return to your apartment and lock yourself in. For the next eight years, you eat Top Ramen and watch Spongebob, and die quietly of sodium overdose in your sleep. END.

That's totally not necessary, you say. The pawnkeep's old eyes well with tears. You are a hero, he says. I will never forget you. Thank you for bringing me this. He walks around the counter and takes your hand. Kisses it. He smiles as you leave the shop. You drive home and think about your day. You have brought an old man peace. You have brought light to a dark mystery. You will sleep well tonight. END.

Give me a million dollars, you say. The old man's teary eyes fill with fury. Such evil in the world! he screeches. He reaches into the display case in front of him and pulls out a samurai sword. You cannot continue to live, evil one! You step back in shock as the katana strikes across your throat. You fall back in the bubbling agony of death as the old man leans over you, blood on his face, crying into the watch. Death is unpleasant for everyone, friend. END.